Kevin Nolan’s Match Report: MK Dons v Charlton (03/11/2015)

MK Dons 1 (Bowditch 29) Charlton 0.

You can say what you like about statistics (Mark Twain famously linked them with “lies and damned lies”) but they do a pretty job of explaining the mess in which Charlton currently find themselves. Take a look at the following numbers and make me wrong.

Charlton have won two of their fourteen league games to date; their last victory was as far back as August 22nd; they have failed to score in their last five games; which means they have spent a minimum of 450 futile minutes poncing around in their feeble efforts to find the net. They’re a rudderless side lacking purpose or direction, which is my unsolicited opinion and admittedly doesn’t qualify as a statistic. But it lends substance to the figures quoted above. Put it this way. You’d find more passion at a spelling bee. Mind you, they can get a bit heated at times. Especially if one of the contestants is American and insists on a colonial dictionary, in which case the letter “u” largely bites the dust.

Anyway, less than a week into November and this train wreck of a season already careers from one crisis to another. This latest depressing defeat by mediocre MK Dons did, to be fair, provide a silver lining. Following three consecutive 3-0 hidings, to keep the score down to one must be regarded as progress. And if you think I’m taking the mickey, you’re spot-on. It’s how I deal with pressure. It’s either that or yield to hysteria.

The Addicks’ steady disintegration, meanwhile, is taking place to music .Or am I the only one who, as we head for the buffers, catches the strains of mad music drifting over from Belgium, where our absentee emperor can be heard fiddling as his South London guinea pigs burn?

Duchatelet’s reaction to the problems confronting Guy Luzon was to replace him with yet another of the “Gissa job” mendicants who drift within his organisation waiting for some poor sod to get the bullet, then make themselves available to step inside his shoes.

There’s no reason to doubt that Karel Fraeye is a decent enough bloke and equally no doubt that his credentials leave him poorly equipped to manage a club in the unforgiving battleground that is the English Championship. But hey, Karel, the guvnor says have a go anyway and we’ll see where it takes us. Minimum wage suit you? Roly didn’t get where he is today without sticking to the minimum wage.

To the footsoldiering fans who will still be around when RD, KM and KF are mere initials cut into Charlton’s history, the next move seems obvious. So let’s put it to Roly. Why not forget all the cut-price nonentities you move around like pawns in your power-mad game? Turn instead to some homegrown veteran who understands the local minefields, somebody like Nigel Pearson or better yet, Alex McLeish, a forgotten man these days. Anyone domestic except Ian Holloway, Neil Warnock or that portly chap up at Leeds, who has recently taken to referring to himself in the third person (Kevin Nolan has nothing but contempt for that kind of affectation). Blow the cobwebs off your wallet and get us a hard man who can turn the train around before it blindly hits the buffers. And stop stroking that cat in your lap.

On duty for MK Dons on Tuesday, for instance, was Karl Robinson, one of the younger managers but one with considerable experience and tenure in the job. MK Dons have been relegated under his stewardship but chairman Pete Winkelman stuck with his man and was rewarded for his loyalty. Robinson and Winkelman don’t get in the papers often but they do a bang-up job in a naff environment which can hardly be mistaken for a footballing hotbed. The club’s origins were, to say the least, dubious, but the old Wimbledon of Fashanu, Wise, Jones and Bassett hardly inspired affection. Nasty little bunch who ain’t missed, really, so it might be time to forget grudges and let it go. I’m over it, I must admit, probably because the club I follow is not exactly a shining example of probity right now.

And Tuesday night’s game? What can I tell you? The only break some of us got was that our coach arrived late, which spared us about twenty minutes of the sterile fare being served up as football by the timid visitors. Apparently we missed a decent shot from Jordan Cousins, which forced a diving save from David Martin but we were naturally bang in time to witness Dean Bowditch’s carefully sidefooted finish, from Samir Caruthers set-up, as it eluded Stephen Henderson’s dive and found the bottom right corner. We didn’t need telling that with an hour left, the issue was already settled by that single goal. Not only that, by the time we arrived, the press room food had disappeared, as had the programmes and team sheets. It was hard not to be disgruntled but you soldier on.

So we were subjected to another limp offering from a demoralised, distressed football team, which was further depleted by the loss, through injury, of Johann Berg Gudmundsson and the seemingly indestructible Jordan Cousins. 18 year-old novice Ademola Lookman made his debut and did alright while Henderson was blameless, with a one-on-one save from Nicky Maynard a highlight of his sound performance. And that’s all there is to report. This team has reached rock bottom. It’s not dark yet…but it’s getting there.

MK Dons: Martin, Lewington, Upson (Hodson 39), Kay, Potter, Bowditch (Baker 72), Spence, Carruthers, Maynard (Church 77), Murphy, Poyet. Not used: Cropper, Gallagher, Powell, Hall. Booked: Maynard, Kay.

Charlton: Henderson, Solly, Diarra, Bauer, Fox, Gudmundsson, Cousins (Makienok 62), McAleny (Ahearne-Grant 46), Jackson, Ghoochannejhad (Lookman 65), Watt. Not used: Pope, Sarr, Holmes-Dennis, Ba. Booked: Gudmundsson, Diarra, Bauer, Ghoochannejhad, Jackson.

Att: 9,575.