Kevin Nolan’s Match Report: Charlton Athletic v Hartlepool United (5/5/2012)

Charlton 3 (Hollands 71, Haynes 77, Kermorgant 81) Hartlepool United 2 (Hartley 31, Liddle 87).

Kevin Nolan reports from The Valley.

Anxious to wrap up their barnstorming title-winning campaign in style, Charlton pulled out all the stops with an action-packed, all-singing, all-dancing warm-up show on Saturday. Prior to kick-off, a seam-busting crowd was treated to sopranos, a bearded lady, tightrope walkers, acrobats, tenors, trapeze artists, a bloke being shot out of a cannon, stilt-walkers and then almost as an afterthought, a football match against Hartlepool United.

OK, hands up, I made some of that up but you had to be there. The pitch was a hive of swarming activity and by the time the Red Red Robin had finally gone bob bob bobbing along and these parachute chaps arrived with the match ball, we were all convinced there was no business like show business. So it was irritating to be called to order by referee Iain Williamson, who reminded us why we were there.

Standing patiently by while the extravaganza unfolded, the visitors could be excused for losing focus. Mind you, their own contribution wasn’t exactly a model of sobriety, what with over 150 Smurfs on duty in the away end. It was all peculiarly English, like those photos of a deadly serious candidate at important elections standing shoulder to shoulder with some lunatic in a gorilla suit, a top hat and napkin folded in his neck, representing the “Free Tuck for Public School Apes” party. I mean, you don’t see that in America. They’d shoot the gorilla just to be on the safe side.

Sent out by Chris Powell to crown their campaign with a cockle-warming win, Charlton started brightly enough. A cross from Chris Solly was nodded down by Yann Kermorgant, driven against the lunging Jack Baldwin by Bradley Wright-Phillips and ballooned over the bar by Scott Wagstaff. Another chance fell quickly to Wright-Phillips but was topped wide, while at the other end, Neil Austin’s corner was punched out by Ben Hamer and hooked narrowly over the bar by Gary Liddle. United had clearly not travelled merely to make up the numbers and it was only mildly surprising that they grabbed the lead just past the half hour.

One of those misunderstandings which have marred Charlton’s rock-like defence from time to time saw Hamer and Michael Morrison, under modest pressure from Ryan Noble, concede a needless left wing corner. Their organisation was further disrupted by the simultaneous replacement of hamstring victim Johnnie Jackson by Danny Haynes and when Neil Austin finally delivered the flagkick, unmarked centre back Peter Hartley made easy work of turning the ball past Hamer.

The prospect of losing their last game after making such a fuss of it was spur enough for the Addicks. Wright-Phillips should have equalised, after another of Kermorgant’s clever flicks, but dragged his shot across Scott Flinders and wide of the far post. Instead, they came within inches of falling further behind in added time, with Andy Monkhouse bending a drive dangerously close to the right corner.

Soon after the break, Charlton again diced with disaster. Following Morrison’s foul on Noble on the edge of his penalty area, Austin’s curling free kick was brilliantly saved by Hamer. Unstoppable in the air, meanwhile, Kermorgant carefully cushioned Rhoys Wiggins’ accurate cross down to Wright-Phillips, who volleyed wildly into an increasingly exasperated crowd. What the visitors had they intended to hold, as Darren Holden’s magnificent block to deny Kermorgant a close range chance demonstrated. But they were sensationally taken apart by an irresistible three-goal burst within ten minutes as Charlton reminded us why they are runaway champions of League One.

The quickfire salvo was launched by Danny Hollands, who met Rhoys Wiggins’ waist-high corner with a whiplashed left-footed volley which scorched past Flinders. The suddenly besieged keeper stemmed the tide temporarily with a quite marvellous save to frustrate Kermorgant but the Addicks were not to be denied long. Another left wing corner from Wiggins was half cleared, returned by Matt Taylor and headed home emphatically by Haynes.
Four minutes later, man-of-the-match Kermorgant made it three with Charlton’s last goal of the 2011-2012 season and what a corker it was. Meeting Bradley Pritchard’s flighted cross beyond the far post, his replica of Marco Van Basten’s fabled volley from an impossible angle flashed over Flinders and nestled inside the far corner of the net. Did he mean it? Of course he meant it. Would that question be asked if Wayne Rooney had struck such an exquisite volley? Did they doubt Van Basten? Trust me, he meant it.

Charlton being lovably Charlton, the luxury of coasting to victory was denied them by a late reply from Liddle, whose shot from 20 yards caught a helpful deflection and found the top right corner of Hamer’s net. Ultimately it didn’t matter because The Valley was ready to party and was in no mood for frustration. Who needed the Cup Final anyway? Not the FA, that’s for sure. They’d kick it into touch, given half a chance. Still, we got home for the highlights.

Charlton: Hamer, Solly, Morrison, Taylor, Wiggins, Wagstaff (Pritchard 65), Hollands, Stephens, Jackson (Haynes 30), Kermorgant, Wright-Phillips (Euell 83). Not used: Sullivan, Cort.

Referee: Iain Williamson. Attendance: 26,749.

N.B. These reports have been a joy to write, even when I had most of Yorkshire on my case and all because I pointed out that Ray Charles refereed us at Huddersfield. It was either him or David Blunkett. Hard to tell. But we soldier on next season in the Championship. I stand ready to offer my services again in 2012-2013 and hope to see you all then. Barkis was willing. So is Nolan.