Kevin Nolan’s Match Report: Colchester United v Charlton Athletic (04/10/22)

Colchester United 2 (Eastman 87, Akinde 90+1), Charlton 1 (Morgan 17).

Charlton really have to be seen to be believed. No, really – seen to be believed. At Colchester, 880 eyewitnesses, of whom 259 had journeyed across the border in support, watched them plumb new depths of incompetence in turning victory, first into a draw, then even more risibly, into added time defeat.

In a competition nobody takes seriously, their latest fiasco would have gone largely unnoticed in pre-livestream days of anonymity. But your reporter was among those who reacted in “seen it all before” resignation as they unravelled on his screen, then listened in grudging admiration to the post-game spin which turned their collapse into something of an injustice.

Apparently, the Addicks had completed more than double the amount of passes their opponents did and it must be remembered they were a young (?) side. When the dust had settled, they would “pick up the pieces” and “be a lot stronger for the experience.”

It’s beyond argument that Ben Garner’s men (and there were just as many men as boys in their ranks)
outpassed their hosts, (who during the evening slipped to 22nd place in League Two following Hartlepool’s win over Doncaster Rovers). Their blizzard of passes went sideways and back, then square, forward and back again as the statistics stacked up impressively. They could point proudly to the 15 passes which led to their goal but ignored the comparative economy United employed in replying twice.

Colchester’s equaliser comprised a corner, a header against the bar and an instinctive conversion of the rebound; the winner featured an accurate ball along the right-hand channel, the outpacing of an exhausted defender, who should have long since been replaced, by a 33 year-old substitute and the deftest of dinks from an unpromising angle. Food for thought, then, when appraising the Opta Stats -or whatever they’re called.

Albie Morgan’s opener, after 11 minutes, must be counted among the pluses mentioned by affable second-in-command Scott Marshall, who stood in for Ben Garner during the post-mortem. The ball was switched from side to side, player to player, before Morgan worked a one-two with Sean Clare inside the home penalty area. With Us’ resistance neatly filleted, Charlton’s No. 10 slipped through and calmly finished past Sam Hornby.

Flushed with success, the Addicks settled down in a bid to pass themselves into the record books. Their stats piled up with goalkeeper Nathan Harness figuring prominently in the “build-up from the back.” Safety first became their watchword as passes were returned regularly to sender by recipients discouraged to operate on the half-turn or, heaven forbid, facing the opposition’s goal. If a football team can be said to suffer from constipation, you could chance saying it about Charlton. Apologies for the image but it, er, sort of slipped out.

There were rare moments of beauty. Morgan’s goal was a corker and it was Albie who produced the devastating through ball that sent Jack Payne in behind Us’ defence to be brought down by veteran Alan Judge. Payne took the inevitable penalty but placed it too close to Hornby, who saved splendidly before recovering in time to block Payne’s second effort. Great stuff, of course, from a heroic keeper but from 12 yards, a penalty is missed rather than saved. This spotkick would have doubled Charlton’s lead and probably sealed the issue but Colchester survived to edge ahead in the only statistic that matters.

There were three minutes left when. with Harness a helpless onlooker, a left wing corner was turned on to the bar before being stabbed home by Thomas Eastman. One minute into added time, John Akinde pursued a lofted pass over the top, eased past a struggling Terell Thomas and gently nudged his unlikely winner into the far corner. Thomas had performed creditably despite his lack of match practice and should already have been replaced. He had been one of the “positives” as had 43rd minute substitute Tyreece Campbell, a breath of fresh air on an evening of stuffy statistics. Shame they were part of such a boring side.

Colchester: Hornby, Clampie, Dallison, Judge (Ashley 82), Chilvers (Hannant 70), Lubala (Akinde 61), Eastman, Newby, Coxe, Miranda, Nouble. Not used: O’Hara, Chambers, Longstaff, Kazeem. Booked: Lubala, Chilvers.

Referee: Lee Swaby. Att: 880 (259 visiting).